I am pregnant!  I am so excited that I am  for joy!  I am a bit afraid to tell some people.  Certain people close to me, will not be happy for us.  One certain person in particular, has wanted me to get a tubal ligation.  And the thought of this particular person finding out is actually making me physically ill, sigh.  Why can’t some people just share our joy?


Other than the normal dread of telling those around us, I am feeling really good.  I already need a daily nap though, because I am so tired


Now I have been a bit weird though with testing.  I took one test on a hunch this month a week before my period was due.  This test showed a very light positive.  I was shocked, because we have been trying for a while but hadn’t succeeded.  So when I saw the positive I didn’t believe it, lol.  Soooo, I did what any other compulsive tester would do…….I took another test a couple days later, lol!  This one also gave me another faint line.  I still wasn’t sure I was pregnant.


You might be thinking, "woman, you got two faint positives before your period was even due, of course you are pregnant!  What is the matter with you?!"  But let me explain.  First off, we tried and tried even using OPK’s, and no baby.  Second, my last pregnancy ended in miscarriage last year.  With that pregnancy I never got a darker line, they were always very light.  And I always worried there was something wrong.


So, now after two light positives, I kind of thought I was pregnant, but was feeling pretty crampy and worried it wasn’t gonna "stick".  So I waited another couple of days and tested again.  Once again a light line.  So another day and another test, but this one came out a little bit darker!  Yay!  It eased my mind just a bit.  But still I wanted a DARK line, lol! 


So today I tested again.  I also used an ovulation test after reading that a dark line on that will also tell you if you are pregnant.  I got a line much darker than the control line on the ovulation test and a much darker line on the pregnancy test!!!  Relief, my hcg levels are increasing, whew! 


So now I feel comfortable that I am pregnant and my levels are increasing.  The reason I continued to test in my defense is because of my miscarriage.  I wanted the reassurance that this pregnancy is different.  I feel much more reassured now, although I am much more aware of the fragility of life now than before my miscarriage last year.


So yes, I am a bit nuts for testing compulsively.  But at least I had a reason for it, lol.  I have one last test, so I guess next weekend, I will take my final test, lol!  And lest you think I spent a fortune, just know that I didn’t, I bought all cheap tests.