Today I am really thankful for an old friends compassion.
Last night I ran to the grocery store for salt. I can’t believe it, just one item! Anyway when in line I bumped into an old friend that I haven’t talked to in a really long time. We were catching up and I shared about the miscarriages that I had had since I had really talked to her. Her eyes filled with tears, and she just had so much compassion. Her understanding and love that she expressed really has helped me. I have been building a wall to keep all of my sadness over my losses out of sight. It’s not acceptable to talk about it or feel sad anymore to most of those around me, so I have just tried to move on.
I am just so thankful for her. Her compassion and tears broke down that wall I was building and allowed me to feel again. It was like I had permission. So even though I am feeling a bit sad today, on Thanksgiving, I am praising God that my heart is feeling. I want true healing, not stuffed feelings. And I am also realizing that I will always feel loss and pain from losing those two precious babies. That is okay, and to feel that loss and sadness is okay sometimes. As long as I’m not wallowing in it or becoming bitter etc.
I have so much more that I am thankful for today, but that one thing has just really touched my heart. God is so good to work out all the details in our lives.