Marriage is great, good and……hard.  It wonderful to be loved, to spend time with your best friend and so good to bear children out of the love you share.  But marriage is also hard.

As my husband struggles with his own growing issues, it causes me to grow also.  It gives me oppurtunity to love even when it’s maybe not reciprocated at the moment.  To learn to love my husband and bless him without receiving anything in return.  Because honestly sometimes I do something great for my husband and get absolutely no response for it.  And it shows me exactly how ugly my flesh really is, when it gets upset about it.  It causes me to realize that my motives weren’t pure in blessing my husband….I wanted a reward.

Marriage also makes you realize that silence is sometimes the best option.  For instance, voicing irritation over trivial things does not bring the husband and wife closer.  Only overlooking minor and sometimes major irritations in grace and love will bring the husband and wife closer to one another. 

The common wisdom of the world says to "communicate".   If your husband says something insensitively or in anger that hurts you.  Talk about it, communicate.  If something he does irritates you….communicate.  I have to say that I disagree.  I think in most instances it’s an oppurtunity to overlook an offense and keep peace.  How many large arguments are started over something truly trivial that doesn’t really matter?  There is a right time to speak about hurts, but not constantly and only in the right setting.  Almost never in the heat of the moment.  And if it’s something that you know your spouse isn’t willing to change then why even bring it up?  Why beat a dead horse?  Let it go, give it to the Lord and move on.  The Lord can work in your heart about it…..don’t worry about your husband’s heart.

And what if you are the only one that is overlooking offenses and your husband isn’t?  That’s a hard place to be, and yet your responsibility before the Lord is still to overlook the offense and to focus on blessing the offender.

Marriage is wonderful…..an oppurtunity to learn to die to yourself on a more regular basis.  Let’s not forget that in the day to day struggle for "me".  Let’s remember our calling to die to our flesh and serve the Lord.  Let’s remember the words of 1 Corinthian’s 13.

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