Lately I’ve been thinking about relationships. About feeling connected and accepted with and by people and family. We all long to feel accepted by others for who we are. For every part of us. We don’t want to be rejected for our likes or our dislikes. We want to feel close to others and loved. This is good. God created us to be in relationships with others. This is evident when in Genesis God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone. We need others.
But the reality is that we live in a fallen world. I am a sinner saved by His grace and every other person in the world is also a sinner. We are selfish, we are judgemental, we sin, we hurt others and we are hurt by others. In life as you grow and mature you learn to love others regardless (hopefully). You also learn that most people you will only share parts of yourself with and there will be a few people you really connect with that you can share most of who you are with. But the fact that we are all sinners means that we will still say thoughtless things, and be insensitive at the wrong times. We won’t understand others at times and they won’t understand us. This is life in this fallen world. As we age we learn that for the majority of people we can only share part of ourselves. But we can still have good relationships with others.
For instance I use cloth diapers. I like using cloth diapers. There are many that think that is the grossest thing ever. I personally choose not to share that part of myself with those people. It wouldn’t be benificial for us. But we could still have a great relationship talking of all types of other things. I don’t talk to my dh often about silly things that we women love but that bores him to death. Why would I do that? I don’t share that part of myself with him.
In my youth perhaps I may have felt sad, or misunderstood by most of the world or my family/friends. But with maturity has come peace. Peace in the understanding that there are different levels of relationships and different types. I am blessed with several close relationships where I can share most of who I am. I have other relationships where only part of myself is revealed. But I still can at times feel a void, a lonliness. I want to feel loved, cherished accepted for all I am. It’s an ache that I sometimes try to get others to fill. But that only ends in frustration because the only relationship that can fill that void is with my Lord and Saviour. He is the only One that will never dissappoint or reject and who will love me perfectly despite all the ugly inside of me.
Relationships are complex. They can be dissappointing. In the midst of this I need to always remember to forgive others and to love them and be thankful for them. And I must always remember that Jesus is the only relationship that that will fill me completely.
If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgivenif there was anything to forgiveI have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake 2 Corinthians 2:10
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2
No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 1 John 4:12