Today as I woke up I was thinking about how long I have been married.� I can’t believe that it’s been as long as it has, it seems so much shorter.� And that got me pondering what makes a happy marriage.� Let’s face it, we on our own can’t guarantee a happy marriage.� It takes the Lord to build a house, and ultimately our marital success is in His hands.� We can’t control how our spouse chooses to live.� But there are some things that we can do.
- Submit- In our life we need to have order.� We all can’t have an equal say in everything.� We all can’t have our way all the time.� And surprisingly we aren’t always right anyway, lol.� There is an order in all stations of life.� The military has ranks, businesses have positions that keep order, and God has set up an order in the home.� Christ is the head, then the husband, then the wife, and then the children.� Simple.� Wives need to submit to their husbands, period.� Simple, not always easy but simple.� Just as it’s obvious that children need to obey their parents.� Now this doesn’t mean that the wife is a doormat.� Or that she doesn’t ever get a say about anything.� Nope, she can share her opinion, but the ultimate decision rests with hubby.� And guess what, the ultimate responsibilty does too.� So just let go of that turmoil and rebellion that makes you hackles raise at the thought of submitting.� It’s just a simple order to life :)� 22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.� Ephesians 5:22-24� Now, this submitting thing doesn’t just apply to wives submitting to their husbands.� Nope we all need to submit our desires and wishes to those of others.� Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21� The fourth chapter of James is excellent for this point.� Our desires cause fights and arguing.� When we submit to God and others we can live in peace and harmony.
- Serve- This one is super simple.� Serve your husband.� And do so cheerfully.� Check out Philippians 2 for this one.�
- Overlook- Here is another obvious one.� Don’t get offended by everything.� Ignore things you could percieve as an offense.��� A man’s wisdom gives him patience;
������ it is to his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11,� A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult. Proverbs 12:16
- Sacrifice- Sacrifice your desires for your husbands.� It’s hard to do cheerfully but the rewards are worth it.� This really is just an extension of the golden rule.� “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.
- Control- Control your thoughts.� Take them captive.� Don’t allow yourself to dwell on the negatives of your husband.� We all have negatives.� And sometimes our prince charming starts to look more like a frog.� I’m telling you to control your thoughts at those times.� Don’t dwell on the ickies.� Focus on the positives even if in the darkest times you can only think of one thing.� Or maybe times are so dark you can’t think of anything?� Well keep your thoughts thanking the Lord for your husband and praying for him.� Don’t let your thoughts run rampant and then control your emotions.� That breeds discontent and misery.� 2 Corinthians 10 talks about taking your thoughts captive.
- Today- Live for each day.� Don’t let yourself start to think about how you will be “in this situation” for the rest of your life.� This one really applies more to the worse times of marriage.� Because during the better times we are eager for it to be that way forever.� But this is the real world and there are peaks and valleys.� During those valleys don’t think about the future so much.� When things are rotten it is hard for us to imagine them getting better many times.� And imagining 20 more years of whatever the misery is will only make you want to jump off a cliff or run away.� Don’t do it.� Just get through each day.� Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34
- Accept- Accept that your husband is a sinner.� And guess what, so are you.� He will never perfectly love you, and you will won’t perfectly love him.� Deal with it and accept that only Jesus can meet our needs perfectly.� When there is an emptiness inside of you, turn to the Lord to fill it.� And then you are free to enjoy all the gifts and blessings your husband does give to�you.
So there you have my very basic thoughts on what makes a happy marriage.� It’s longer than I thought it would be.� Hmmm, I guess I was thinking more than I thought I was this morning.