Somewhere around two this morning I woke and realized that it was snowing. I asked the Lord for dh’s safety when he drove to work later and felt an incredible assurance and peace that all will be well.  We don’t have chains for the car and dh can’t call in to work.  Not with things as they are currently.  But I had a peace and was certain that the Lord would give him safe travels. 

An hour and a half later I wake up and crawl out of bed.  It’s time to start the day.  Because it snowed I turned on the computer and checked the highway conditons.  Blast!  Chains or snow tires required.  Fear and doubt begin to take root.  They niggle at me.  I clear the car of snow and start it warming for dh all the while praying.  I kiss hubby and send him out, while praying.  But this worry has taken hold.  I’m now conflicted.  Part of me clings to the promise that I felt I recieved when I first prayed, and part of me is worried.  And part of me feels guilt.  I should have said stay home, your safety is more important than anything else.  But frequently there are chain requirements and the roads are fine, just wet.  Other times there are no requirements and there should be.

So as I sit here typing this, I have to turn my eyes to Jesus.  I have to leave it in His hands and let go.  I have to pour out all I am feeling to Him and then just trust.  Sometimes letting go and trusting is the hardest thing that you can do.

Advertisements